UNBEARABLE SORROW


There is so much to wrap my brain around, but nothing seems to erase or even dull the screaming in my head. The vivid visions of the brutality my sister endured at the end,
the sound of her voice as she most assuredly pleaded for her life.



Creating has always been soothing.
Bits and pieces of art that I can immerse myself in and forget the world outside for a while.

I am home now.

The comfort of my nest is not as welcoming as I hoped it would be because

everything
has
changed.

But for an hour or so on the plane ride home, I opened up the little plastic baby wipe box that held a tiny page of text, book marks cut from mixed media papers I had made long ago that awaited artwork coverings, pencil, stamped images.


I had packed this in my suitcase as I hurried to Connecticut to my grieving family. Somewhere in my brain was a small voice that spoke at the right time.

Somewhere the creative soul cried out to be a source of comfort during a time of unbearable loss.

So,
In the air over my childhood home
as I left behind the horror of the senseless murder of my little sister, and the shattered lives................
I pulled out the little purple box.

From the 1/4 page of text I carefully ripped out words and arranged them on a bookmark that I had always felt was too dark.
It seemed an odd piece of mixed media that I had created a few years ago and yet never discarded. Dark with gold.
This time I immediately chose this one bookmark. Adding to it a butterfly in sepia.
Another piece that I had not been wild about as it lacked color.

In a few minutes I was holding a finished piece.

'SORROW'

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cindy Rella: I love the bookmark....not because it's pretty or sweet, but because of how raw it is and what it holds for you. Surely every time you look at it, you will remember Jenny Wren and your sadness over losing her...or you may never gaze upon it again, just put it away as another memory.
Your nest will be your comfort again soon. You just have to be able to let go of the anguish first. Take your time.
Lovezzzzzzzzzz you,
Audra Mae

Autumn said...

I am fairly new to your blog and have not had time to get to know you yet, but I wanted to say how very sorry I am about your sister. Your art work is amazing, and shows the raw pain you are feeling. May you and your family find peace in this sad time.

Autumn

Sharon said...

The bookmark is a forever treasure. Acutally it is quite amazing. The way you had to rip the words is so beautiful in composition.
I'm thinking of you in your changed nest. Time.......

JoAnnA Pierotti said...

Oh Dear Rella,
Sending you love sweetie. It is so hard to know you are suffering so deeply and there is nothing others can do to change that.

Your piece is beautiful as you. Your wings are weighted down with deep grief and little by little as time helps to heal, they will be lifted.

Keeping you in my prayers.
love,
joanna

Healing Expressions said...

Hello Rella...I came to your blog today by way of my frined JoAnna and was so moved by your deepy honest and emotional piece. Words cannot express the grief you must be feeling but I pray your creativity will allow your heart to slowly heal. My deepest sympathy for such a devastating loss.

Arty Lady's blog said...

I don't know where to start to express my sorrow to you. You must be going through hell.

I am sending you love from afar. Be strong.

Liz
xo

dogfaeriex5 said...

your art will help to heal you,my faerie friend..sending healing dust your way..
as always xoxo~kim

Patricia J. Mosca said...

Your bookmark speaks your souls words. Sending white light fairy blessings to you...moon dust.. sunlight...and love...Make a wish on the first star that you see tonight.a blessing will come from your sister back to you...BELIEVE!

suze said...

Rella, I am glad to see you are back. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling. I don't know you but I wish there were something I could do to help you. Keeping you in my prayers, and hoping time will help you heal.

Cindy Dean said...

Amazing piece of art....

Joan said...

Dear Rella,
I know you from your blog and from Paper Whimsy. You have been in my thoughts and prayers since you posted your sad news at PW. This morning I read some helpful words (to me) on another blog that I would like to recommend to you. Please look at visual-voice.com for the September 6th entry. I hope it will speak to you. God bless.

inspiration=creation said...

My deepest sympathy on your loss.. I can't even imagine what you are feeling ... my prayers for you and your family

Rosa said...

Rella: I know peace will never come, but I hope you find comfort in knowing she is safe now and at rest looking down upon you with loving thoughts. May you find comfort knowing she is there with you always.

red tin heart said...

Rella , the bookmark is so much a piece of your soul. When we create something in sorrow it seems to become a part of ourselves. xo nita

zUzU said...

::sigh::
just reading backward to understand more ...
I found this piece of art ...
and stopped in my tracks.
::sigh::
ox zU