JUST WHEN I BEGIN TO JOURNAL AGAIN

SOMETHING SO UNBEARABLE
STEPS IN FRONT OF ME

BECOMING THE FIRST ENTRY

OVER PAGES THAT WERE PREPARED
WITH SUCH JOY AND HAPPINESS
ONLY ONE WEEK AGO.

In a blink of an eye
In less time required to take a breath

or take a life

My little sister is taken away

My heart is so heavy and in so much pain
that every and any task seems impossible



Our little sister,
my friend and confidant,
youngest daughter,
devoted and beloved mother
Murdered by the man? who did not deserve to be called
Husband
Father
Human
Our hearts are torn apart
Our spirits broken

38 comments:

Once Upon a Cottage said...

May the God of peace and healing embrace you in the comfort of His being. May the prayers of friends and family be felt in your heart. I am grieving with you.
hugs,
Lennea

suze said...

I am deeply sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you are with you.

Sharon said...

I cannot imagine your pain. Know that I'm crying with you and here for you.

Cindy Dean said...

I am speechless. Even though I have never met you in person, I feel like I know you just a bit from being blog friends. My heart aches for you. I am sooooooo sorry to hear that you have lost your sister. I cannot even imagine the pain you are in. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Rosa said...

I am so saddened to read this. Know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for your loss.

jblack designs said...

Oh Rella. I am so sorry. There are no words. Just a deep, long hug. We are all holding you.

jb

Anonymous said...

I'm so very sorry to hear of your terrible loss. God bless.

Ryan said...

Mom I wish I could do more as your oldest child to help ease the pain that has gripped your heart. Nothing makes a child feel more defenseless than when his mother's soul has been beset with sorrow. The one thing that I can tell you now that might bring any comfort is that you have 3 children who love you with all their heart and soul. You have raised us to enjoy life and embrace the beauty and wonder of this world, and you have taught us how to be respectful and kind human beings. We love each other, not only as siblings, but as friends as well. Everything we are today is because of you and dad and we don't ever take our relaionship for granted, just as you and your brothers and sisters have stayed so close even though you are so very far apart from each other. Auntie Jenny will be missed very, very much, but she will always be with us. She will be there when you see a beautiful sunrise. She will be there when you are surrounded by loved ones and friends. She will be there when you create a stunning piece of art. As long as she has a place our hearts her soul will live on. I love you mom!

izabella said...

oh my Rella, I am in tears after reading your post @ Paperwhimsy, I can hardly see what I am typing~

I could hardly believe what I was reading, I am so sorry that this happened to you & your family, know that I am will be praying for your heart to be comforted & healing comes quickly!

thinking of you my friend

xo~ Izabella

Studio Panorama said...

Dear Rella, my heart is torn apart for you.

I pray for healing and peace for you and yours.
Bev

Anonymous said...

Cindy: Be brave and strong and know that your little sister is in a safe place now even though the world and you and her family are much smaller and sadder without her. I am sending you love and strength and please know that you are in my thoughts every minute.
Jenny Wren will still feel your love............far away though she is.
Hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzz,
Lynnie

Chelise said...

Rella,

I am so behind in all my emails but when I logged on today and read about this situation, my heart just broke a million times for you and your family.

All my thoughts and prayers are with you and if there is anything at all that we can do at ZNE as a group to ease any of your grief or spread awareness - please let me know.

xo - Chel

Birdie said...

i don't know you or your family, just a peep. i do know though that words help very little if at all.
i'll light a candle for your sister. my thoughts today will be there with your family.
take good care of yourself

Beth said...

Oh Rella.....
How sad I am for you. I know your heart must be breaking and I hope that with all the prayers and thoughts being sent your way, you will somehow get through all of this.

Melinda said...

I am so sorry Rella......truly I am. I will keep you and yours in my prayers......{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}

Lori said...

Rella, this is so so very sad... my heart is breaking for you...i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers

tina's space said...

Cindy,
I am so so sorry to hear about your precious sister. Please know that there are many people out there praying for you and your family. May the Lord give you the strength and grace you need to survive this.

kerrip said...

I also have a sister named Jennifer whose nickname as a child was a Jenny Wren. I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you and I will remember your family in my prayers.

Goldbettyboop said...

Dearest Rella I am reaching my arms across the ocean to wrap you in a hug; I grieve for your family, you, your father, siblings,your children. I fled an abusive relationship back in the 80's but always lived with the fear that the abuser would find me. The authorities tried to make me go back but I refused so I can appreciate how your sister felt, how she knew that she would never be free from the fear of what this maniac could do. I will pray for you all and hope that those who let your sister down see sense sooner rather than later and release her children to your family.
Jenny wren may you find peace with God, my heart breaks for the waste of your life.

Bless you all Dawn

kathywas said...

My dear Rella...I was so saddened to hear of the loss of your sister. It's always hard to loss a loved one, but it's even harder to justify why something like this should be allowed to happen when the proper precautions could be put into action to prevent it from reoccurring time and time again. My thoughts and prayers go to you, your family, and the children during this very difficult time.

The Feathered Nest said...

I've never visited your blog, and I do not know your family but my heart breaks for your sadness and loss. I pray for peace in your heart and that the Lord will comfort you in your amazing loss....evil made this happen and the Lord is there to embrace you...much love and healing to you and your family, Dawn

Ele at abitofpinkheaven said...

I am so sorry. My heart weeps for your family. How can anyone ever understand such devestation. Prayers for you and your family.

Natasha Burns said...

I am so so sorry for your loss. I found you on Lori's blog and I am so sad for you even though we have never 'met'. Ryan's message to you is so warm and loving and I hope you will find some comfort some day soon, if Ryan is how your other children are then it is good to know you have wonderful family around to support you through this heart breaking tragedy.

Alison Gibbs said...

My thought and prayers are with you. There is nothing any of us can say to help ease the pain. Just know that there are many people out there thinking of you at this sad time. Alison

Sea Dream Studio said...

I offer my prayers for your family.
take care ~Dale

JoAnnA Pierotti said...

Rella, sending you more love and hugs sweetie. Prayers too.
JoAnnA

Only a Paper Moon said...

Sending my thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
Genevieve

carylsrealm said...

I continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Mo'a said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you.....this is impossible to understand.

sherri (Tied Up In Ribbons) said...

how sad there are such awful things that happen. my heart goes out to you. I know you need time to regroup for yourself. When or if you wish to share more, we are here to hear you and comfort you

dogfaeriex5 said...

sweet girl~
you know you and your family are in my heart and my arms are reaching to hold you all close to my heart...loving you as always...
xoxo~kim

Tricia Scott said...

oh no rella! i am so sorry for this loss. i had no idea you were going through such pain. i just emailed you---i had not seen this post.
my heart is breaking for you. you are in my prayers, precious rella.
xo,

kecia said...

oh rella, i was horrified when i checked into your blog to see how things were going. My heart is racing and i feel ill. I am so so sorry to hear this news. i am almost beyond words to fathom what has happened to you, your family and your beautiful sister. i am so sad for you. i grieve for your loss. i've been through tragedy and loss - if i can be of any help - please contact me immediately.
kecia

shirleymcc said...

I am so very sorry for your loss.
shirley

Anonymous said...

So sad. I'm sorry for your loss.

Anonymous said...

I can't begin imagine the deep sorrow you must be feeling. i'm so very sorry for this tremendous loss to you and your family. obviously you and your sister's love for eachother is very strong. altho she is gone in body, she is ever present in spirit and even closer to you now, for her loving spirit travels with you always. may you find peace and comfort in your heart. i'm sending healing prayers for you and your family.

Mija

Tejae said...

please know we're all sending love your way. I can't imagine this kind of loss. so sorry.
xo
tejae

Tracie Lyn Huskamp said...

Rella... I can NOT begin to imagine your deep pain. I too have a younger sister and would be lost without her in my life.

I am so terribly sorry for your loss.

May your days be filled with peace and light.

my deepest sympathy!

sincerely,
Tracie Lyn