In the evening,
when every
sound
lies sleeping,
when all
the doors
are shut
and the soul
is open...
memories,
like quiet
visitors,
arrive

~~

We miss you every day, Jenny Wren

March 17, 1965  to August 23, 2007

THE SAFETY IN AVOIDANCE
(what my heart has convinced my head)

I've not looked back at previous pages in a while. Avoiding what could possibly
hurt my heart as it reminds me of dark days and nights. There is a false sense of safety in avoidance. A skill I have quite perfected over the years.

This morning was different and without much contemplation I turned back the pages, went back in time. It's amazing that the brain can so quickly manifest the emotion in a split second once the eyes view the art and the words splashed down with the tears........a watercolor of sadness and anger.........and immeasurable grief.



The words of Linda Ronstadt's song ~ something deep inside of me is shattered......like the sound of broken glass.

I share a page from the past
and a little envelope made from a black and white copy of one of my art pieces
(The now familiar Luna Fae)



.....words torn from a page of text.
Inside, photos of my sister and her children,
alongside the obituary from our home town paper.......
all gathered and placed in my journal

as I sat quietly, painfully grieving, against the window of the plane carrying me back to Arizona.

Speaking silently to my Mother (who would have celebrated her birthday that very day I was in the air) about her youngest child, with her and my little brother now.

Today I add a letter my sister wrote me several years ago.

I save all my letters.

They carry the spirit of the person writing them.

In this case, a little sister
who loved her oldest sister unconditionally.

If I can leave you with one thought
Take a moment and hand write a letter to someone
you care about or someone you've been thinking of.

It is a gift that is worth more than any
commercial greeting card.

MEMORIES

When my sister, Jenny and her children fled in April, they were able to hide successfully for almost a month through the efforts of a shelter for abused women and children.
We knew after a few days through authorities that they were alive, but I would not be able to speak to her for almost a month.
That is how deep "underground" these women and children have to go.

They fled with very little, but felt so rich and so free for the first time in many years.
I am so grateful to the shelter for their help and assistance during this time. It was the happiest Jenny and the children had been in a very, very long time.

Jenny felt like the butterfly.
The years of struggle, the life of the caterpillar were now over and the new chapter was beginning.
She was afraid, but so hopeful.
~~~~
In creating a piece for a collaborative I am doing with eleven others for a 2008 calendar, I thought of Jenny and her butterflies.
This piece just flowed.
The verse is from a card that someone very close to me gave me many years ago as I was leaving my comfort zone and heading out to an uncharted life, unfamiliar territory, and somewhat scary.

My page for 2008 will be the month of September.
The child image is from Paper Whimsy. (sheet #133)
Using paints, inks, colored pencils, a gel medium transfer of a music sheet
and a touch of free hand painting with a vine of roses.


"Memories"

In the evening,
when every
sound
lies sleeping,
when all
the doors
are shut
and the soul
is open...
memories,
like quiet
visitors,
arrive.