Faerieluna: January 2009

COME ALONG FOR THE RIDE...
THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING

Step outside my nest and look up
~ sigh ~
beautiful sky....
cotton candy white against the blue

Heading West..
the Monday through Friday trek

a few minutes and I am looking at the Saddle Back Mountains
appropriately named, don't you think?

When I first moved here ten years ago
I would drive a little further and further out each day
to learn my way around
But I would only do this during daylight hours
and it was the mountains that would get me home
each group so unique and easy to memorize

A teeny but further down and you can see the McDowells to the South
and the still undeveloped land in the forefront.

There was very little on this stretch when I first visited in 96.
and driving East on this very road, in the dark, with my girlfriend who had moved here
I asked her "Where in the world did you move to???? there is NOTHING here!!"

I quickly learned how I would love to see the 'nothing'

Turning into the drive of this lovely (in a desert way) property, I am not really thinking
about the work day ahead.

Just the gorgeousness.

Even as I approach the first of the buildings,
the very one I worked in for a few years
when I first got here.

The very building I would drive by on my outings to explore

The very place I would look over at
and proclaim to the universe

'I AM GOING TO BE WORKING THERE.'

Everyone said "oh, it's hard to get in there"

I truly just shrugged my shoulders

and honestly believed
I would be an exception to THAT rule.

I had determined after moving out here that I needed to have a job by November

I did.

It was here.

But now I take a left
and head to a building that looks similar
to a job that is NOT similiar

And this is what I have been doing since I visited here with you last.
Throw in a little bit of this and that

but mostly sleep,

get up

and drive this drive
to this place

then reverse after 9 - 10 hours.

No art,
very little writing,
a bit of conversation with loved ones,
not much blogging or e-mail.

But I am so truly grateful that as mundane as this all sounds
for all that I have.

Every day that goes by lately,
when newscasts are quick to tell us the horrific numbers

losing jobs

losing homes

I think about how fortunate I am.

AND HOW ABOUT THAT STUNNING,

EIGHT AND A HALF MILE RIDE?
and this wasn't even the most beautiful
half of the drive.

For Joel on your 30th Birthday

In the stillness, in the quiet moments
when the noise and madness of the world
cease to exist...
or even matter...
I close my eyes and head on back.

Without packing a bag
or saying goodbye ...
back I travel
through the years,
the smiles,
the tears.

Back to the immeasurable joy
of newborn fingers...tightly curled..

...around my heart.

Back...back to happily ever after
and childhood laughter
with brown-crayon scribbled art.

A REMINDER

THE NEW MOON BOOKMARK SWAP

IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO JOIN THE BOOKMARK SWAP

11 DAYS FROM TODAY

IS THE MAILING DATE

A RECAP OF THE 'RULES'

The next New Moon is January 26^th.

Make a bookmark, any shape, any size.

Include in your composition two things.

The moon, and text you feel is powerful or moving to you.

Sign the back and include your e-mail address and or blog.

This is a one- for- one swap

so you will mail your creation to me on the 26^th of January

and include a self addressed envelope.……..

I will

carefully choose

a bookmark for you from the wonderful collection

and mail it back to you……..with a little something from me.

Moon-themed, of course.

*you will need to contact me by e-mail
to get the address
as I will not leave it here or in the comment section

(Andrea - please email me)

and, who knows,

we may do this again.

so far I have received one BEAUTIFUL bookmark

and I have made mine...

THERE IS STILL TIME TO JOIN IN

that's the lovely thing about a bookmark
it's a simple project
and yet every time you open that book you are
reading.......you smile
a beautiful piece of art to hold your place.

GRATEFUL

That is the post.

That is my word for 2009.

I know there are blogs out there that have put the question out to us or the challenge to use ONE word.

...and I have thought on it for these past 15 days.

REALLY, truly, contemplated.

I will state it here quite simply,

Grateful

the second most powerful word to my spirit....

the sister word to love.

When I hang up the phone
(gosh that is an OLD term now, isn't it?)

I am grateful
that such an instrument gives me the connection to my children

or my Dad or siblings..

or my dear friend across the country..

when I can text a simple

"love you" or "goodnight"

just before going to sleep

it feels like
these precious ones are not so far away..

I am grateful.

that I have a job,

a roof over my head,

a car to get me where I need to go.......

three amazing children...

beautiful sunrises and sunsets...

The list is huge,

isn't it?

When I 'visit' grateful in the midst of any storm,

it is like a healing balm.

It's magic.

PERSPECTIVE

Hovering on the wall of self-pity and starting to give in to tears

after a week-long physical battle

so tired of it that I cannot stand myself......
(and Brat Cat has even dismissed me)

..I spoke with a dearest friend who has been through her own battles

and in doing so,

and speaking of someone dear to HER
that is going through her own issues.......

I came away thinking about

perspective

and of a phone conversation several years ago I had with my little brother who was dying.

His illness and death was a drawn out thing.

Sad and cruel.

And on that particular Saturday as we spoke, all he wanted to do
was go outside and feel the sun and smell the smells that only the outdoors can bring.

You see, he had worked with his hands all his adult life and at this point he was only just into his 40's
and he lay in a bed in a Nursing Home type of place as he could not care for himself after being in the hospital.

He was looking out the window as we spoke......2500 miles apart...... his voice choked as he said so simply "I just want to go outside, Sis....just for a little while."

I cry even to type that.

such a simple request.

He loved the outdoors as much as I do and we talked about how stepping out the door into sunshine or crisp wind could make everything seem all right again.

The last time he and I walked outdoors together was about a year before we found out he was sick.

It was an August night..late. I was in Connecticut to celebrate our Dad's birthday and his also since their birthdays were five days apart.

We walked to the back yard of the home he was so proud of on 7 acres in the woods and he gestured up at the stars and said

"this is what I love most......to come out here at night and look up at all the stars"

I remembered that night silently as I held the phone and listened to, and felt, his longing. Me, the older sister, helpless to change the course...my heart just aching for my little brother, namesake of our Father.

Little Bobbie.

Today as the sun shines so brightly.......I am heading out to feel the the slight breeze and look at the blue, blue sky.

I am able to do this small thing that feels so big.

Everything is better when you step outside.

Perspective.

A WINTER'S DAY

So far removed from a Connecticut winter,

I am learning to embrace the changes here
in the desert.

The sky is more intensely blue most days of winter

but on the gray days, you have that 'feeling of winter'

looking out the living room window I spy the character I call

THE SCREAMING PECKER HEAD

She, and I know it's a 'she'

as the HE is a few trees over doing what he does best

SCREAMING

And, he has a cap of red on his head that the female does not have.

See how she is dining on the last of the unripe figs.

Click to enlarge - upper left corner for dining bird. Can you see her striped feathers??

The fig tree is deciduous, so the huge leaves turn yellow
and fall on the ground

leaving a stark, gray form behind.

This is another item that reminds me that we have a winter.

As I snap a photo of the 'Screamer', a Ruby throated hummingbird swoops in to feed on the nectar in the feeder.

you will notice missing yellow flowers where the hummers insert their long beaks

the reason they are missing is that the Screaming Pecker Heads

pry them off in order to
dine on the nectar themselves and fight with the hummers for this delight.

There she is in the middle of the branch....trying to blend in

Now she's looking at ME looking at HER

The rascal is now sucking huge amounts of nectar out of an already flower-less opening

Here comes the hummer
Notice how you can hardly see the hummer's wings??

they are moving so fast to keep her
airborne and in on place.

The sound of the wings at this speed is amazing.

Now, yesterday, before the clouds came in totally
to give us the rain we are having today

I took a drive to the cafe to spend a few hours playing

'Cashier Girl/Latte Girl/Ice Cream Scooper Girl/Tidy Up Girl.

What I love about this photo
(and why I took it)

are the mountains in the distance

See the different shades? It's so beautiful in person that it looks like a painting

anyhow, back to the fact that I was heading to the cafe...

This was the first time I have done that in.....

ummmmmmmm

.......about 3 1/2 years.

Yes, that is how long I have truly been away from the cafe
and working back in the so called '9-5 day job world'

But something clicked a week or two ago

and I am now able to spend small bits of time there.

And Mr. J. - always happy to see me - is perplexed
and can't help but wonder

if the aliens will be returning his partner
in business and life sometime soon.

I wonder the same thing.

I sense this is going to be another amazing year......

and as I get things in order

I may be playing a larger part of the day-to-day of the cafe.

After all, as Mr. J. says.........

the cafe is the vehicle to our retirement.

You see....Mr. J. looks carefully at the future.

Me.........I look at today.

Amazingly, we are a good team.

Taken New Year's night. The Fountain Park is behind the cafe.

Our patio has the most beautiful view

Mr. J. and I had a champagne toast that night
as the fountain went off.

Just the two of us.

A few doors down at another establishment
they were having a New Year's Eve party
and a Folk duo sang and played guitars.

We had our patio to ourselves,
music,
the fountain,
our cafe.

LIFE IS GOOD.

LAST NIGHT OF THE YEAR

I left that crazy place a little after two today.

The head of the company always sends a 2:00 dismissal the day before a holiday.

How lovely is that?

MY boss, however, is not happy with
that policy

and seldom do we get to leave at that time.

Today I was hopeful for 4:00 as the cafe was closed down for two days and Mr. J. and I were going to head to dinner.

Miracle of miracles,
our little office headed out the door,
LED BY OUR BOSS!!!
Who insisted we all leave and would not leave unless we did, also!!

What???

Could this be the start of something new and wonderful??

So off we go

my date and I,

on a lovely, lovely late afternoon and have an early dinner.

As we left the establishment it was still light out and looking up there was

the moon and her side-kick,
about 3 to 4 degrees away.....

Venus.

So pretty.

Once back in town, we headed down the Avenue of the Fountains.

A boulevard, actually that is lit up for the holidays.

I took this with the fountain in the background that shoots up so high every hour on the hour and it back-lit at night.

This photo is for my three chicks

who have never been here for Christmas

but know this street very well

and that fountain.

I sure do miss you.